So it has been about five months since me and my ex husband have called it quits you want to know my honest opinion about how I feel? I’ll tell you, I feel great. You want to know why I feel great? Well I will tell you. I’m finally doing things because I want to. For some odd reason, I always worked really hard on trying to please other people or just try to take the easy way out of everything. SO if you had a get rich quick plan I wasn’t afraid to try it. I have to tell you, it’s been really nice finally being honest with myself.
It’s been hard to come to terms with things. Knowing I wasn’t happy with majority of what was going on. It is very hard to explain to people when they ask what happened. People think I gave up to early, didn’t try hard or some other crap. To be straightforward, going through this process has showed me who my true friends our. It sucks at times but I am so thankful for this. I don’t have to explain myself. I have the right to feel the way I feel and handle things the way I want to handle them. Because I choose to not be with him anymore, I am a single mom.
It’s a very tough job. Something that is a two person job minimum is now something I’m doing alone, well to a certain extent. My family is the biggest blessing I could have asked for, besides my child. Taking my daughter when I feel overwhelmed and doing many other things to help me out, helps out more than they can even imagine. So for that I will always before every grateful.
It’s tough though, you always have this thought in your head that it will be like this forever. Being alone. Having baggage is hard enough with life’s up’s and down’s but to add on having a child, it’s hard to think that anybody will want to date you. I found the solution to that though, well at least I found the solution for myself. Having the spare time that I have before I start school in the fall, I have been able to do a lot of soul searching and it has worked out tremendously. I stopped growing when I got into my relationship with my now ex husband and didn’t even realize it. So having all this free time, I have been able to find out what I like, what I enjoy, what I dislike and the things I actually want to accomplish in life. I have more confidence now about achieving goals that I have set for myself now, than I ever have before. The only thing that sucks about being single is that I don’t get to cuddle. That’s it. Anything besides, that I can do with or without a man. It sucks that I had to involve a kid into this to realize something as simple as that, but she is my drive when I have those moments of doubt. Being a single mom is so hard, people look down upon you, your kid already has a strike against them with the chance of coming out crazy because their dad isn’t around, having to worry about people understanding how you became a single mom, it’s all very overwhelming. At the end of the day though, I wouldn’t change it for the world. The learning process is amazing and the reward after the struggle is spectacular.
There are so many places, so many groups, so many blogs, so many resources you can go to so you don’t feel alone. Don’t feel like you have to stay with your husband or boyfriend only because you guys had a kid. It’s ok to realize that things aren’t going right. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed, everybody does. Find an outlet: Reading, writing, blogging, shopping, painting, anything. It is a tough job but it is so doable. Being a single mom is defiantly a journey that no one can prepare you for, but once you put your pride aside, taking the help that people don’t mind giving you and doing the tasks that you feel will be best for you and your child. Trust me it will get you so far in life in my opinion.
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